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You are > Home > Traffic stopper puts it all down to Love Jesus bumper sticker
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Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Traffic stopper puts it all down to Love Jesus bumper sticker
By Jim McGuire
BY 2050 they expect cancer to be cured and Jesus to be back, and the same percentage of four out of 10 Americans expect to see a single worldwide currency evolve from the intricate convolutions of to-day's money markets that are struggling to escape from the aftermath of the 2008 fiscal collapses.
These have pitched consumers back from dreams of endless prosperity to hand to mouth living painfully redolent of the 1930s years of depression long since vanished into economic history for today's generation but now exploding into a gigantic wrecking ball on their hopes and expectations as gaps between national taxes and incomes widen relentlessly.
Ireland's difficulties mirror in miniature those of the American colossus where the lessons of the Great Depression were drowned in the tangled swamps of unregulated banking and corporate greed into which we poured our own excesses and avoidance of political responsibility.
It was inevitable that the philosophy of spend and spend, as if the boom were never to end, as the determining influence on political popularity should finally run out of road by crashing into the solid reality of a credit crunch.
International professional opinion doubted that we would have the moral fibre to persist with the stern reform measures to be applied through structural rectification and house cleaning from the same people who were the cheerleaders of spend, spend, spend populist policies inimical to the retrenchment measures demanded by the new situation.
So that brings us to the situation when the European Commission must have first sight of any policy decisions – on the basis that he who pays the piper should calls the tune or calls upon the Deity for guidance rather late in the day.
In the meantime, and being powerless in the face of the whimsical fates, we can only best wish the dice men success in a belated recourse to the American motto of creating unity out of the diverse forces ranging against them from war with the Arab world to massive environmental damage through continued failure to plug a ruptured BP deep sea oil head making the strongest case yet for green energy alternatives.
Laughter provides the nearest escape hatch as a relief from worldwide tensions or from extreme religious fervour which is emerging as a distinctly American antidote to worry in the Bible belt region and its far from homogeneous population.
It is possible that religious fervour in some extremes can provide the individual solace sought while providing simultaneously the humour needed to have people laughing their blues away as an exercise in religious freedom.
Try this as a sample of how one’s religious fervour can bring on laughter lines so badly needed in life today.
The following letter might have dropped through the letter box of any Irish girl with a grandmother away on an American family visit.
By way of explanation the Grandma is 88 years old and drives her own car in Ireland and hire drives when on holidays.
The grand -daughter received the following letter from the old lady on a vacation in American bible belt territory:
Dear Grand-daughter,
The other day I went down to the local Christian book shop where I saw a Honk If You Love Jesus bumper sticker. This was after coming from experiencing a thrilling choir performance and a thunderous prayer meeting.
I was feeling particularly uplifted that day so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. And am I glad that I did because of the uplifting experience that followed.
I was stopped at a red light at a busy city crossing (rather like the one on the Crossmolina Road at home but without the distraction of traffic lights to annoy drivers which seems to be the new policy on any new road in Ballina where it invites open season on pedestrians which made me buy a car in self-defence from that nice man who has the new Opel range on the Killala Road).
Well there I was stopped at a red light (did you know they have them here in America too but placed high up so you won't run into them). I was just lost in thought about what I might bring home to you and didn't notice that the light had changed.
It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn’t honked, I'd never have noticed. I found out then that lots of people love Jesus.
While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy and then he leaned out of his window and screamed: “For the love of God! Go, Go, Christ, Go!”
What an exuberant cheer leader he was for Gospel choirs everywhere!
Everyone started honking and I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people I even honked my horn a few times to share in that love. There must have been a man from Enniscrone back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach.
I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked your young teenage cousin in the back seat what that meant. And he said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.
Well, I have never seen Hawaii other than on one of those shirts your cousins wear when visiting Ballina on holidays so I leaned out the window again and gave him the good luck sign right back.
Your cousin burst out laughing on the back seat. Why even he was enjoying this religious experience.
A couple of people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started running towards me.
I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended (I could have mentioned how easy it was to park at St. Patrick's instead of risking life and limb on the St. Muredach's Cathedral Road race track. I thought it was a lovely idea to provide a tunnel under the road as a health and safety measure you hear them going on about. And didn't they provide a tunnel walk under the Shannon as an example for Ballina) but this was when I noticed that the American traffic light had changed before I got a chance to tell them the great job the Ballina Council had done on Pearse Street. Maybe next time.
So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters and drove on through the intersection.
I noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and I felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared.
So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful followers.
Will write soon again,
Love, Grandma XXXXX
P.S . To give you an idea of how keen they are on the religious motif I am bringing back a sample of the Bible Belt Bra I hit on when shopping in the local Mall.
When I told the lady behind the counter that I wanted to buy a bra and what type had they in stock she said they had so many variations that they decided to simplify things for the customer faced with all types, colours and sizes by marketing the bras with religious associations.
The customer can now make the choice from the following:
CATHOLIC: SUPPORTING THE MASSES
SALVATION ARMY: LIFTING THE FALLEN
PRESBYTERIAN: KEEPING THEM STAUNCH AND UPRIGHT
BAPTIST: MAKING MOUNTAINS OUT OF MOLEHLLS
You'll never guess the choice I made for your present. Meanwhile what are your expectations for 2050?
Love, Grandma.
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